"I prayed for this child and the LORD has granted me what I asked of Him" 1Samuel 1:27

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Why Me

It is with a heavy heart that i am writing this right now. A wonderful man that has come to be my good friend is laying in a coma waiting for the angels. We were told it could be 5 min. or 24 hrs, but i know it will be when the Lord is ready for him and only then .He and I talked at great lengths 2 wks. ago about our plans and Gods plan for our lives. He has always been a supporter of what i feel i'm suppose to do. So, i'm going to go ahead and write what was on my mind this morning before i knew that he had taken a turn for the worse. i love you jimmy......your a true servant of God.
Again as my mind was working (yes, it actually does work from time to time!)while driving home from taking cole to school, i was pondering the thought of "why me" again.  not in a negative way, but in a thankful way, a blessed and lucky way. Why would the good Lord allow me to have this special child?? its certainly not because i'm special in any way.  i told my church on sunday that i am not a super person.....not a super mom or wife, and certainly not a super christian. i think the only super thing i am is a super sinner and i can make a pretty good hand at that.  so why someone like me??  well, i think maybe because its people just like me that God has used for years and years.  you  know, the hurt, the weak, the scared, and certainly the sinful.  when God called on me to bring this special child into my family i was in the midst of all the above. But as i questioned the call, He provided the answers over and over again until i said, "ok.....here i am....i'm "all in." i am nothing special......never have been and never will be.......i just said "yes" and He did the rest. sooooooo, maybe i'll quit thinking like "why me" and i'll start thinking like "why not me!"  and if  "why not me"..........then how bout, "WHY NOT YOU!!!!!"  just sayin!

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