ALL and ALL

Sometimes I look at Gabe and I just can't believe he is really here and that he is ours.

I know my smile goes from ear to ear!

Sometimes I look at him and the tears roll down my face so fast I can't keep them

 wiped away. Most of those tears are happy tears. Tears of thankfulness. Tears of

 gratitude. Tears of awe. But sometimes, sad tears overtake those happy tears when I

 least expect it. So was the case last night. Gabe and Rick were watching and listening

 to one of the "Praise Babies" dvds and Gabe was really taking it all in. The song

 playing at the time was You Are My All and All. I love that song and as I sat there

 watching them, I had that moment of "wow! he's here, he's ours, he's precious, oh

 wow, thank you Lord!..........and then I went back. I went back to the little village of

 Ekatepnhobka. Back to the voices, back to the little faces that go with those voices.

 "I'm a good boy" he said, with a smile as big as Texas. "I'm a very good boy." I can

 see him right now as clear as ever. When I asked our interpreter what he was saying,

she kinda half way smiled but then put her head down. She didn't want to tell me. She

knew me pretty good. This was only the 3rd time in the orphanage history that anyone

 had come to adopt a child from there. These kids were not used to seeing new

 faces, and they knew we were from America, and after seeing us a few times, knew we

 were there to adopt a child. I wonder how many wished we were there for them. The

 first day we got there, we were standing in front of

 Gabe's building and from up above, this little voice said, "hello....how are you?" in

 english!!! I turned around and looked up, and there he was. Andrei. He had the biggest

 smile and was very proud of himself for speaking to us in english. I was shocked and

 laughed along with him. Dasha, our interpreter, said some of the kids had been taught

 some english. Every day, for ten days, I got to see Andrei. He was 12 I think, but

 looked to be about 6 or 7. He had cerebral palsy. He also had a beautiful smile.



There was Roman, who I will tell you more about later, Maxim, Sergei ("I'm a very

 good boy"), Daniil, Kahtia, Zhoya, and then the faces that have no names.

Sometimes, when I go back there, my weakness wants to take over. Sometimes, the

 sadness does over shadow the joy. But even still.....I pray I never forget. I pray that the

 breaks in my heart never heal and that I will always see their faces and hear their voices

 and remember.

Zhoya

Daniil in the middle

Kahtia

Zhoya watching kids play



                                          Maxim


Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising again I bless Your name
You are my all and all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all and all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name.