Mend a Broken Heart? ~ by Tanya Yungmann
So, I have to be honest, when I first heard that my sister was adopting a child with Down syndrome, my first thought was "Why?" Why a child that you will most likely have to take care of for the rest of your life? Why add more work to your already crazy days? Why not a child that is "healthy" and "whole"? Do you really know what you're getting into?!
Selfish, I know, but I'm human right? Don't I have enough to worry about already in my own life?
I decided to make my own judgment without the full knowledge of why she and her husband made this decision. Why special needs? Why from another country instead of right here in the USA? Don't we have enough orphans here?
Then, my naive and selfish self decided to actually read one of the many posts that she had posted and check out some pictures and videos.
After that I don't think I could have kicked myself in the butt enough to make up for my first judgment that I made when I had first heard the news that they were adopting.
I read of a little boy that was raised by his birth family until he was 3 months old, then given to the orphanage when he was diagnosed with an illness that he would have for the rest of his life.
I read of a beautiful little girl that was full of smiles but very low functioning with multiple health issues because her mother was an alcoholic.
I saw picture after picture of sweet babies, toddlers, 5-7 year olds with Down syndrome that were given to this orphanage because if their mother kept them, she would become an outcast among her family and friends for having a child with this "condition".
And now my heart breaks. It breaks every time I see a new post about one of these precious babies about to be sent to an institution where they will likely die soon after their arrival.
It breaks every time I see them smiling even though they are in the conditions they are in.
It breaks every time I compare them to my own son and all the love, family, friends, food, toys, health and a future full of possibilities that he has, just because he was blessed enough to be born into that.
It breaks every time I think that these poor babies had no choice about how their life began, and because of that, they have no choice about how it will either continue, or end.
These babies don't have that kind of help. There are no doctors treating them for their illness. No loving arms holding them while they are uncomfortable and sick with fever. They don't have a doctor on speed dial. A local store where someone will go and get them what they need.
Their resources are here, in the USA, where their strabismus (crossed eyes) can easily be fixed. Where the meds for HIV are more accessible. Where their malnutrition is easily fixed by our easy food availability.
That is why there, and not here, where our country doesn't neglect the children and uses every possible resource.
I want more than anything to storm into these countries, swoop up all these sweet children, and rescue them from whatever fate they are facing... but I can't. I can't save them all. At times I feel like even saving one won't make much difference. Will it?
The answer is YES. Even though it doesn't seem like it, there is some hope. 147 million orphans, minus 2, the 2 boys my sister's family is adopting will soon be home, safe and sound, and they don't even know it yet.
My heart will continue to break, but I don't want to mend it. I don't want this hurt, these tears that won't stop every time I read about them, to go away. I don't want to just forget about them so that I will "feel better".
Without knowledge, we will perish. I had to come out of my box, my comfort zone, my little world of me and my family and remember just how much hurt there is out there.
My heart is heavy, but I don't want it to be light again. With this broken heart I now have a passion. A passion to fulfill what God has called us to do, feed the poor, clothe the naked, shelter the orphans.
No longer will I turn away to protect myself from how it might affect me. No longer will I ignore the cries so I can be more comfortable. No longer will I pass over the posts about lost babies because it's the millionth one I've seen and I don't have the "time".
My heart is breaking and I pray that it never mends until I am with my Savior, along with all the orphans, in the safety of the arms of Jesus for eternity.
I thank God everyday for shakin me up to the point that I couldn't even sleep at night. Can we save them all??? Maybe not, but I have a shirt that says, "147 Million Orphans" on the front......and on the back......MINUS 2. Praise God, out of a crying plea for direction and taking 5 minutes to look at a website, my boys have a life and I believe I get to have a little glimpse of what heaven will really be like one day. I get to see, hear, touch and feel the fullness of Gods love through them, every.single.day. What I once thought was important, those worldly things.......they no longer are. Take 5 minutes, go to RR. Be blessed. I sure am.
Kime, what a beautiful post.............
ReplyDeleteSounds like you wrote every word & I believe you did !!! Right ??? You never cease to amaze me, you should be a writer for RR or a writer for a Parent's Magazine. Your heart is so pure, you have the patience of Job, your parenting is of GOD... I'm so sorry that at times I question where do you get your compassion, I won't question that again only through the blood of our Lord & Savior could you have the Love, & Compassion you show to these "beautiful, unwanted Orphans." I'm so thankful to have a small part of your daily walk with JESUS....... My love deepens for you & the greatest family in this world. momma