TORN

Cole is getting excited as Christmas is just around the corner. Forget that Thanksgiving isn't even here yet! Nope, he has already gotten his stuff out, part of my stuff out and taken a tree to school for his room.(bet his teacher just loves me!) However, we did use the pretty day to put some Christmas lights down the driveway and to pacify Cole alittle. He helped for the biggest part of it and then was off to something else. I have to admit, i love Christmas too. I love the music, the lights, the family coming together, the smell of the tree........yep, he gets it from me i guess.  But even with all the things i love about this time of year, i can't help but feel somewhat guilty and sad too. If you know me, you know i love my family and they are my life. I can't imagine what life would be like if i didn't have them, especially at times of the year such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, you know when family is SUPPOSE to get together.  I can't help but think about those that don't have a family, those that have no one to share this time of year with.  I got a package in the mail Sat. morning and as soon i as opened it, the tears started pouring. Well, actually, the tears were already flowing because i had just come from the funeral home where i went to say my final goodbye to my good friend Jimmy Harlan (a super good man) and then i saw what was in the package. A Christmas ornament off the angel tree from Reece's Rainbow, and on the ornament was a picture of precious little Gavin. Wow, this little boy will be spending this Christmas in a institution just like he has for the past 3 yrs. My heart just broke for him and the others.  My thoughts right then were this........i was sad because i was gonna miss jimmy, and i hurt for his family, but i knew that jimmy was now healed and had gone to a much better place ..........little Gavin on the other hand has much healing that needs to be done and he has not gone to a better place.He just recently went from a baby house where the care is better to a mental institute for older children and the care IS NOT better. Alot of these kids only survive this move maybe a year or two at the most.  Its so hard for me to grasp this........its much easier to not know these things.......its much easier to just enjjoy the lights, and the music, the smell of the tree, and the family all coming together to share food and gifts and love at this time of the year......THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS. The reason for the season.........JESUS........"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me."