Broken

DIGGIN OUT to DIG IN

Well hello there!  Man, I get a big ole FAIL for my blogging efforts the last many months. Gosh, has it been almost a year??  Yep, a big F for me in this department that's for sure. But I gotta tell ya, it's been pretty busy around here!  Our new little guy that came home in November of 2016 is one busy little dude!  It's a constant job just knowing where he's at and making sure he is safe and/or the house is safe!!  Seems he loves to climb, and it's just the funnest thing to be on top of the house.  Yes, the top of the house.  And he has the coolest big brother that actually helps him get up there when he can't seem to do it on his own. 😊 And, he loves to run the toaster, the microwave, the sink water, bath water, washer/dryer. Dries all kinds of things!😄  And that's just a small part of our day!  Needless to say, I don't have time to blog during the day and after they go to bed at night......well, i FALL into bed.  And then we do it all over again the next day! 😊   And if your wondering if I would do it all over again....3 international special needs adoptions in 5 yrs???  Oh yes.  Oh heck YES.  And here's a few reasons why:


KINGSTON ISAIAH
FOREVER HOME Nov. 2016 at the age of 6

JOSIAH ZHENSI

FOREVER HOME Aug.2014 at the age of 5 1/2

GABRIEL DIMITRI

FOREVER HOME Aug.2011 at the age of 5

And now, in their Papa's arms, where they are safe, they are loved and they will never be left all alone again.  

It has been an amazing 5 yrs. since these boys have been in our family.  We are just grateful for the opportunity to be their parents and learn from them each and every day.  That being said, know that all our days are not on the mountain top! So in case you wondered........here you go.  Every single day has its challenges, but the first 3 or 4 months after bringing home our latest, Isaiah, the days were really, really tough for me/us.  Adoption is beautiful.  It is also hard, especially when your kiddos come from hard places, and the many unknowns that come with them. It is a process and an adjustment period you go through before things begin to fall in place.  The adjusting period with Isaiah was tough on everyone in our home, and it seemed it would never be right again at times.  And the craziest thing was that God was very silent with me during this time! I have leaned on my faith my whole adult life, but I was like "HELLO LORD! WHERE ARE YOU???!!!"  Seriously, I was drowning and really no know one knew how bad but me. Not a good place to be and definitely more needs to be shared on the importance of having a good support system for families in your community who are bringing these kids home. I promise, they need it and would be so appreciative.  And there's lots of ways to help during that period, but more on that later. :)    So back to HELLO LORD?? So happy to say that I was not forgotten by my Lord like I kinda felt during those first few months.  And in my heart I knew this, but still I was wanting God to move in like really fast and fix this. I mean I was beginning to believe what others were thinking and saying!  We didn't need another kid to take care of, we WERE crazy, I had my hands full already before this one, why would we do this again, we were too old, and the infamous "well you asked for it", and blah blah blah.  I was buying into the worlds beliefs instead of sticking to the One who has always stuck by me. The One who put me on this path of adoption some 30 yrs ago.  But you know what.....He had me right where He wanted me. Right where I needed to be. As the fog began to lift after 3 or 4 months home with Isaiah, I could see clearly that I was never alone in my that trench, and I learned things while there that I wouldn't have otherwise.  I learned more about hard places, the trenches of adoption, I learned that just because we said "yes" to following God's lead to these kids, that didn't mean it would be without more cost(not money) .  Sometimes a trench is needed to protect us and we welcome its safety, but other times a deep trench is somethings we fall into before we even know whats hit us, and that's where I was.  But here's the deal.  Just because we end up in there doesn't mean we have to stay in there. As I began to dig out of my trench, and began to see  more clearly again, I knew without a doubt that I had to dig out so that I could begin to DIG IN again to what I know to be true. God's heart is for the orphan. The fatherless. The least of the least. And He intended for us to play a very active part in caring for them. Now notice, I did not say all should adopt, but all should help the orphan crisis in some way.  We are not here to be comfortable. We are not here to live the American dream. We are here to love and serve God and to love and serve others.  If that kind of love takes us to the trenches from time to time.....so be it.  If that kind of love keeps us in the trenches, just know that we're never there alone when we're there in the name of Jesus. :)

Matthew 25:40

Mom and the 3 Amigos!!

If you've ever thought about adoption, think no more. Just do it.  Stop trying to make sense of it all because you never will.

If you've thought about adoption and are still praying for God to show you what to do.......stop making this an excuse and do it.  He has already shown us. He has already told us. Just pick up your bible and read the gospel.

My shirt in the above photo says,"Build a longer table."  The boys shirts say, "'They built a longer table."

How about you??  Got room for one more at your table??  If your answer is no.......then

BUILD A LONGER TABLE!
It's really that simple, and you will be so thankful that you did.

WHAT'S IN A NAME??

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” ISAIAH 6:8

I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord,  the God of Israel, who summons you by name. ISAIAH 45:3

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.

ISAIAH 40:29

Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago.  ISAIAH 25:1

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  ISAIAH 41:10

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  ISAIAH 40:31

For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.  ISAIAH 41:13

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.  ISAIAH 43:2

Even to your old age and gray hairs  I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.  ISAIAH 46:4

I HAVE WRITTEN YOUR NAME ON THE PALMS OF MY HAND.  ISAIAH 49:16

We both knew the answer. We have been here before! But even still, we wrestled with the Lord. And I'm ashamed to admit it, but I struggled most of all.  I knew the cost of doing this again.(not talking about money) Matthew 10:34-37 had always been one of those verses in the bible that I always just kinda.......wondered about...... didn't want to know?? Well, I can promise you, I/we, have come to know that verse very personally. That "sword" means separation. We get it. It's been heartbreaking and tough.  But we trust Him, and believe His promises are true. All of them. So here we are!  Trusting, Believing, and fixin to go get this precious treasure of His. 

KINGSTON ISAIAH WEI DECKER

(during my struggle with a "yes", God used lots of scriptures from Isaiah to help me along. The above ones are just a few. We both knew this was his name!)

You too are worthy little man, and you will be forever loved.  :)

31   

PRESSING ON

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own." Philippians 3:12

Sometimes going forward in the adoption world is a very slow process. Heck sometimes it's just flat non-existent! You hurry up and finish mounds of paperwork, send it in, and then wait, and wait, and wait some more. It seems you'll never be able to move forward to the next step. And then one day, when you least expect it, there's movement. But at times it's not always forward that you go. Sometimes the news you get about your soon to be child is not what you want to hear, or that certain paper you've been waiting for, it's lost and you have to re-do, or the agency your using closes out of no where, and you are sent spinning backwards, and at such a speed you think you'll never be able to recover and go forward again or at least not any time soon. Thankfully this has not happened in our adoption process of Isaiah, thank you Jesus, but, my family and I, and my brother Rob's family, have been in somewhat of a backwards free fall and at speeds that seem will never slow down. And at times, it seems life will never go forward again, and this is especially true for his wife, 3 kids and grandkids. You see, he was their go to. He was the planner, the protector, the adviser, the cook, the serious but fun loving dad, granddad and husband. For me, he was my only brother, my only sibling, and for my mom and dad, he was their only son.  My brother was diagnosed with cancer on August 5.  It took a week to get him into MD Anderson in Houston. He was there a week for tests. He was told he could not win the battle against this cancer.  It was fast. It was aggressive. He came home, and 4 days later on August 24th, he succumbed to this horrible disease. He in fact did not win against this cancer, but he DID WIN his crown in glory! No more pain, no more tests, no more cancer. Ever. He was healed to perfection and re-united with old friends and long missed grandparents.  No, it's not the healing we hoped for, but for Rob, he got the best of the best, just as God had planned it, long ago. Rob King, my brother, WON THE ULTIMATE PRIZE on August 24, 2016.. He is being greatly missed by many. And so as we his family, especially his wife and kiddos, navigate the days and months ahead without him, please continue to pray for God's comfort in our lives.  I know the race set before us will not come without pain, but I also know, without doubt, when striving toward the final finish and the ultimate "Prize" that awaits us, if we keep our eyes on Jesus, He will bring us to our long awaited reward............and so we PRESS ON.   :) 
  

“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me         heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14

LOVE YOU BRO!

TWO YEARS???  NO WAY.

Oh holy geez!  It HAS been a longgggg time since I sat down to write my thoughts down and share whats been goin on here. But honestly, I've been alittle bit busy, alittle bit lazy, alittle bit overwhelmed, a little bit confused, alittle bit frustrated, and  A WHOLE LOT OF THANKFUL.  Thankful and grateful for the life I'm living, the life I've been given and the hand I've been dealt.  Yep, the good, the bad and the ugly. I'm thankful for it all.  It's been almost 2 yrs since I blogged, the last being just shortly after bringing home our son Josiah from China, who by the way is doing very well.  I fully intended on continuing to blog so that those who have maybe followed us, with Gabe's adoption from Russia in 2011 and then Josiah's in 2014, could see how these boys have come alive and thrived with having a family of their own.  It's amazing what love and nurturing can do.  As I have learned over the past 20 years with Cole and now Gabe and Si, these boys are really not the ones that are DISabled.........that my friends, would be us, the so called abled ones.  These boys have taught us so much.  If we all loved like them, forgave like them, embraced life like them..........we would all be much better people.  Probably much like God had intended us to be.  But, as we all know, that is not how it is.  It seems our world, our societies, are becoming more wicked, more immoral, and more depraved than I can ever remember.  But these boy's of ours, these boys who have taught us so much, they keep us grounded.  We don't have to look far at all to see God's goodness.  It surrounds us every single day.  We get to go to bed with it every nite. Wake up to it every morning and LIVE IT all day long.   Now, I'm typing these words with a big smile on my face. I know what you might be thinkin, yes I do!!  Is it always pleasant?? No. Is it always easy?? Heck no. Is it always smiles and belly laughs?? NO and NO. Are we always glad we said "yes" to them?? YES, YES, YES. ABSOLUTELY. WITHOUT A DOUBT.  Would we do it again??  Yes.  Just so happens WE ARE!  Has that been an easy decision? No.  Have there been some doubts and long sleepless nights?? Yes. Is all our family on board with us?? No. Has that been difficult for us?? Yes, more than they know.  Will this adoption take away from and/or affect the boys already in our home?? Yes.   And will having  these special kiddos take away from and/or affect our grandchildren?? Yes.  But here's the deal.........What these boys GIVE far out weighs what they TAKE.   I want my kids(all of them) and grand kids to know that this world does not revolve solely around them. Yes, their life is very important, but so is every other life.  I want them to know that they are loved beyond measure, and their needs will always be taken care of, to the best of our abilities,  but I also want them to know and understand, this is not the way it is for everyone.  I want them to learn acceptance of those different than them, and compassion for those that struggle. I want them to learn, and realize, that there is much joy in just the simplest things.  Will one more special boy in our life make a difference in their lives????  I sure hope so.   SO, with hands already full :) and a heart even fuller.......here is our new little guy.    

 
He turned 5 in January and he too has down syndrome.  God never ceases to amaze me with His plan for lives.  I will admit that I really questioned Him this time!  But each time I found myself doubting we could do this again, He showed me we could.  Each scripture, each post, each talk with Rick, a confirming call from a Chinese woman (seriously. and I almost hung up!), every sign we asked for, He delivered.  So, whats a person to do!  I never want to be someone who speaks of great faith but fails to ACT on it, or one who speaks of great faith and only acts when it's reasonable or makes sense.  For me, that is not true faith.  Hang around and I'll tell you more about our little guy in a few days and where we're at in the adoption.  Prayers for our family would be greatly appreciated. Be blessed!

LITTLE BITS OF CHINA!

(started this weeks ago!)

As I sit here and think, I know I'm going to leave out so much. My mind is just now clearing from the fog of tiredness and lots of lose ends.  Only last night did I come across the videos of the first moments I saw Josiah on Gotcha Day!  There was so much to take in that day and for the next 2 weeks.  But first let me just say, if it weren't for this long lost (but found again), forever childhood friend of mine......I would have never made it those 2 weeks. I kept telling her I was gonna have to up her pay! (she wishes!!)  Jayne Adams McFather, (aka Ethel, Nana, Mom), you were the "pop to my tart!"(I ate alot of those over there), the "french to my fry"(and yes we jumped for joy when we found some), the "sun in my shine", but most importantly, the "BEST in my friend"!!! I love you and thanks will never be enough for all you did for me and Josiah while we were in China.(this gal literally carried Josiah all over Nanning and Guangzhou for me!)  I'm so thankful we got to share those first moments and weeks of Josiah's new life, together.  And we will continue our journey with him, together, YOU and your family and ours. OK, now I have to share a few lovely pictures of my side kick!

Like I said, she was the FRENCH to my FRIES!
(McDonalds never taste so good!)

Giddy up pony! (getting off was pretty funny. I spared
ya that one!)

 A little water fun. Thanks Nana!

Best tastin pizza E.V.E.R.

He loves his Nana.

Ethel (in the background) and Josiah catching some Z's at the airport.

 A little meditating is always good!

Nana....you so funny!

And.......sleeping beauty one more time!! (and if I could get the other pictures off my dang laptop I'd show em your elephant get off or the attempt anyway!!)
I love you my friend.  :)


And to finish this up, and until I can put more together, here are a few more pictures!


Oh, and one other thing......this is ADOPTION AWARENESS month.  You may not feel led to adopt but there is SOMETHING you CAN do.

PRAY, ADVOCATE, DONATE, FOSTER OR ADOPT.

"You may not can change the world.......but for ONE CHILD, you can change THEIR world."

GO BE A LIGHT IN SOMEONES DARKNESS.   :)

GRACE

There's so much to tell about this journey to Josiah. And I will, when I feel human again! The travel this time has just kicked my tail (and maybe the busy little body with us had something to do with it too!) But, we are home and trying to keep our head above water at the moment. Josiah is doing very well and warming up to us more each day.  He's a funny little guy too!  Very animated and has the most precious giggle. I've been trying to think of what has stood out to me the most in these past two weeks while in China getting him, and I keep coming back to the word GRACE.  God's grace.  The entire time.....we were covered.  TYJ.

Here are a few pictures and once I'm back up and running, I'll share more of our journey to Josiah!  Be blessed   :)

 waiting on flight 

 one must always be prepared???

  giving a speech 

 water bug

fun fun fun! 

Nana.....couldn't have done it without her. 

 Hi mom!

 Can we get these in America??

 sleeping beauties

 headed HOME!

 big brothers

 brotherly love

 falling asleep with love all around

FOREVER HOME and these eggs aren't bad!!

"ONCE OUR EYES ARE OPENED WE CAN'T PRETEND WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. GOD, WHO WEIGHS OUR HEARTS AND KEEPS OUR SOULS KNOWS THAT WE KNOW, AND HOLDS US RESPONSIBLE TO ACT."  Proverbs 24:12